Spreading Her Wings

It is Spring. It is a time for renewal. The dirt of winter gets washed away by the rain to be replaced by the brightness of the green grass and the scent of the newly blossomed flowers. The deer are having their babies, the birds are building their nests. The seasons are changing.

It’s happening all around us. Even if we don’t want it to.

Change.

My JC is moving out next week. To her own place. With roommates.

My fledgling child is striking out on her own. If only for 3 months, she says she will be back in the Fall.

The seasons are changing and I am not sure about it. The roller coaster of emotions is toying with me.

I am happy.

I am happy that she is going to be trying her hand at being an adult, paying rent, grocery shopping, having to do her own laundry and have a budget. I am excited for her to not have to worry about waking us up when she comes home at 1 am, and that she doesn’t have to hear us harping on her to help with the dishes after dinner.

I am scared.

I am scared that she will fall and she won’t ask for help; and I won’t be there to see the signs, gently pick her up and make it all better. I am scared that she will subsist on ramen noodles and frozen pizzas. Even worse, skip meals. She is too thin already.

I am terrified.

Terrified that her douchebag boyfriend (I will call him: DB)will have more influence over her life decisions that should be her’s to make and no one else’s. Not even her parent’s. I am terrified that her birth control doesn’t work and she gets pregnant by DB, making him a part of our lives forever. Terrified that his lifestyle will become her lifestyle.

Most of all, I am hopeful.

Hopeful that she learns to fly solo. Hopeful that we have instilled the values to keep her on the right path. I have to believe that she will realize that she, alone, is in charge of her destiny. I am hopeful that she knows just how much her mom and dad love her, support her and that we will always be here for her. I hope she knows that she can reach out for help and that I will be right there to keep her steady. I will  be her gravitational pull if the carousel of life starts spinning too fast.

NO MATTER WHAT.

She is learning to fly.

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5 thoughts on “Spreading Her Wings

  1. Pingback: People (Freak) Watching at Mall of America « SassyBlondeBitch

  2. This post terrifies me. The other day I realized that my 9 yr old daughter has already completed what will (probably, but who the hell knows…) be one half of her time living with us before she’s ready to leave. Sometimes having this perspective helps me to appreciate every minute I have with her and gets me to spend more quality time with her. On the other hand, it also helps me to see a light at the end of the tunnel when she’s making me insane. But still, the math of it all freaks me out.

    I hope when the time comes, I’m able to embrace her independence. But I’ll probably just be a lunatic who doesn’t sleep at night.

    • Sorry it terrifies you, but once you get there, it won’t be soooo terrifying. Oh, who am I kidding. It SUCKS! But yes, it helps to look at it from your perspective. You have to cherish every minute (yes, even the insane moments). Thank goodness my son will live with us forever. I won’t have to go through it all again. Unless my daughter comes back the end of August. Which she will, right?

      My hope for you is that you can sleep at night. And the helicopter rotors come to a slow Whoop-Whoop-whoop.

      Visited your blog…loved it!

  3. I am so glad my kids are little and I don’t have to deal with this sort of thing yet. I am SOOOOO not ready for it. My six year old said something to me last night about having a girlfriend and I told him to wait until he’s 30! Ugh.

    • There are days when I wish I could roll back time. It’s scary! It is amazing how it just sneaks up on you. You just need to be the dating nazi. “NO GIRLS FOR YOU” in a thick accent of course!

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