It’s nice that MJ thinks I know it all.
Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Most of the time I am stupid and don’t know ANYTHING.
Today? He thinks I should have known it all.
I get a text from him. “It’s not here! When will it be here?”
In all fairness, if I was waiting for something like he is waiting for, I would be doing the same thing. I told him that he couldn’t go anywhere until the package came because it requires a signature.
My response? “Not sure. If it’s not there at by 10:30, it won’t be there until after 3:00. Sorry.”
Then he calls me. Immediately! The conversation is a repeat of what I just texted him. I try to explain that while I USUALLY know everything, I do not know this one thing. He whines some more. Would he just shut up? I am tired of hearing about this. Thank God he was out of cell phone range and couldn’t talk about it all weekend.
After flying across half the country, I thought I would mess with him a little. I start texting him when I land.
“Did it come?”
“Geez, what is taking them so long?”
“I bet you are just dying to get it!”
My texts are flying. I could win a texting competition I was sending them so fast. I would have been in Twitter jail if I was tweeting.
His response to me? “Shut up, Mom!”
Yeah, I let it go. I was being a shit and deserved it. Sometimes I just can’t help it. It’s just soooo much fun to mess with him.
Well, the package FINALLY came. At 5:38 pm! So late!
And MJ is ecstatic.
Secretly? I am happy too. Why? IT WILL SHUT HIM UP! He’s been wanting this for so long. I keep hearing how this will help his snowboarding, keep him outside more and how much fun it will be.
Me? I am thinking of medical bills, co-pays, doctor appointments.
Another secret? I am excited. I love trampolines. They are so fun.
I have only one problem. The bouncing motion.
Let’s be real. I am 40+ years old. Have had 2 children. 1 that weighed a whopping 9 pounds 5 ounces! do you know what that does to a woman? It’s stressful.
What sizes do Depends come in? Do they come with invisible panty lines? Do they make noise when you move?
If I am going to jump on that thing? Depends may be needed.
Anyone know where they are cheaper?