You Would Never Guess

I was in the car today and heard someone on the radio talking about random things that people would never guess about them and it got me thinking about random things that I have done or experienced. So today I will share with you 6 random facts about myself that a lot of people may not know…it’s 6 because once I wrote the first 5 I had one more that I just HAD to put in.

1. I used to sell night crawlers as a kid. Yes! Actual night crawlers. We would go out in our rain jackets or when we were too cool for that…just jeans and t-shirts that would soak us to the bone and pick night crawlers. WITH OUR BARE HANDS! We would pick dozens and dozens of them. Then we would keep them in a refrigerator and sell them all summer long. It was a bonus when we would find two having sex and we got a two-fer! Poor things. First we have coitus interruptis and then they get hooked and eaten by a fish…We would go all over town, looking for hot spots of worms. We were making bank in the summer! I paid for my first car with the money earned from those slimy things.

2. My front tooth is half fake. When I was 6, after my permanent teeth came in. (Of course!) My older brother, being the jerk that he was, chased my friend and I around the yard. It was a small yard with clothesline poles. Steel clothesline poles. I look back to stick my tongue out at him because that’s what little sisters do. Turn back around, laughing…




Half of my tooth is in my hand. Nothing they could except polish the edge. It wasn’t broken enough to hurt the root. Lived with that hillbilly smile for 14 years until a dentist said “I can fix that for $50”. So it got fixed. No more hillbilly smiles 🙂

3. I hate the cold. And I live in Minnesota…Yah, shore you betcha. WTF? I don’t like to ski, love the beach and sun and I live in Minnesota. What an oxymoron. Or am I just a moron? I had to marry Rambo who doesn’t like change and would only move further North if I let him. Last weeks foray to his hometown helped my cause for at least staying where I am. Whew! The only problem is that he will say “Gosh, it’s hot” when the temps hit 70 degrees. He sounds like an old man. I keep telling him the only thing different between him and an old man is that he still has his teeth.

4. I have no tattoos. It’s not that I don’t want them. I am too chicken because I don’t like pain and think of the “what ifs”. My luck, I would get stretch marks and what was a cute butterfly would morph back into some unrecognizable caterpillar that undulates as I laugh. Not a pretty thought.

5. The summertime sun makes me horny. So then tell me why the hell Rambo won’t move to a SUNNIER place? Seriously. I don’t know what it is but a day on the beach is like the greatest aphrodisiac for me. Then again, I am not sure if I have ever told him this tidbit until this week. But we have been married 24 years (I know, right!) and he should just KNOW this shit about me, right? Really. I shouldn’t have to tell him EVERYTHING. He should just add 2 and 2 together and figure it out.

6. I am extremely shy. Yes. Ms. Sassy herself is shy. Yet, I work in a field where I talk to strangers everyday, can get up and talk in front of a conference room of people (I do sweat profusely…dripping down my sides and all). Go figure. Get me in a party type situation and I become a wallflower. A cute little Forget-Me-Not because that is the smallest flower I can think of. It’s worse when Rambo is around too….there is a whole session with a therapist on THAT!

Who would have guessed?

If you have any questions for me…let me know what they are and I will answer them in a blog next week. Nothing is off limits!

Have a sassy weekend!


2 thoughts on “You Would Never Guess

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