As I sit here listening to Devil Dog whine in his crate, I wonder.
I had a moment of extreme weakness, that’s why.
When I had 3 people ganging up on me with pictures of cute puppies, talking about all the memories we had of Maggie, our last dog and pretty much begging on their hands and knees, it is hard to say no.
Oh how I wish I had.
Note to self: say no more often!
Another note to self: Get ear plugs and wear them often.
They fail to remember the dog hair on the floor. The dog piss on the tile.
The forget the dog puke on the new carpeting, baking in the sun all day.
First week in our new house the dog pukes up her food 2 inches from the tile. Southern exposure sun…8 hours. Yeah.
Don’t ever listen to the carpet salesman when they tell you that Berber won’t stain. Call BULLSHIT on their ass.
BTW…we don’t have carpet anymore. We have hardwood. So now I just have to pray to the puppy gods or fairies or whatever rules that part of reality, that he pees in the middle of the wood plank and not in the crack.
Let me tell you how many times THAT has happened…Yeah. You guessed right.
My office chair? Bite marks all over it. Ok, to be completely, gut wrenchingly honest? THAT I don’t give a damn about. I want a new chair any way. But still…it’s the principal of the thing. Right?
And who had the bright idea to get a puppy in the winter time? Seriously. I hate winter as it is. And now I have to take this puppy out and stand there while he decides where he wants to pee. IN THE COLD! Don’t even ask what happens when I shiver so much I drop his leash and he runs away. He hasn’t gotten the hang of listening to “come” very well. The only bright spot is that I am not responsible for the middle of the night pee breaks. That my dears is one place I stomped my foot on Rambo’s throat saying…
“I. WILL. NOT. GET. UP. IN. THE. MIDDLE. OF. THE. NIGHT”, that is all.
I need a vacation.
p.s. this was written yesterday…today he shit on my office floor.