Rambo is my oblivious half. He does not notice a lot of things. Little things, big things. They go unnoticed.
I wish I could go through life not noticing little things. It would make my brain less cluttered with useless as shit information.
We drive by a house in 2001 and I look at its door. It’s not really a memorable door, just a plain simple door to a house. A house where plain, simple people live. We drive past again in 2008? Yeah. I am the one to notice that they painted the fucking door! True story…really it is. I am that weird.
But when I am at the grocery store, totally different story! I can’t remember what the hell I wrote on that note that is still sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Go figure.
Rambo not so much.
Color my hair from honey blonde to medium brown? Took him a full 3 hours to notice. But only after I asked “do I look different?” Cut my hair from shoulder length to chin length bob? He thought my hair was in a ponytail.
You got it? I notice shit. He doesn’t. Period.
Most of the time.
I came home after being gone a few days. I was tired. I was
cranky bitchy. I am sure I was annoyed by the airlines or something along those lines. I make dinner.
We stare into each other’s eyes while we eat. Um, no not really. I find that extremely unsettling and well…freaking weird. But if you like to do that…great. Just not for me. But we talk, and I look at him. We finish and settle in for the night.
A couple of hours pass by watching tv.
“Don’t you notice anything different about me?”
I look at him from head to toe…”Nope.”
So, thinking he got a haircut or something…I look up at his
receding hairline forehead and then scan his face.
Oh. My. God!
“What did you do????!?!?!?!?!?”
“I slipped while I was trimming some stray hairs with the clipper.” He looks down at the floor.
He looks down because that’s where I am; rolling on the floor like a dog in bear crap…laughing and peeing my pants. Oh and I may have pointed at him too. My memory is a bit foggy on that.
I look at him…Right there. Above his eye.
Yeah. Really. He really cut off half of his eyebrow.
And I laughed, for hours. I would look at him and giggle. Turn away, giggle. I even giggled in my sleep. I just know I did.
So Handflapper…thank you for providing me the inspiration to tell this tale. Now go click on that link up there for her.