Middle. Strange word if you say it several times in a row…middle, middle, middle. It just plain sounds weird.
You hear it all the time. There are songs about being in stuck in the middle. It is used to describe your place in your family, where you are in life (mid-life crisis anyone?) and where the filling is in Little Debbie cakes. Num.
So how in the hell did I get stuck in the middle of relationship issues between my brother-in-law (B) and his live in girlfriend (M)? BM…get it? Ahahahah.
How did I become a confidant to one, the bitch to the other? Oh, wait. I am a bitch. A sassy one at that! I digress. The ADD is kicking in early today.
So how did it happen? FACEBOOK!
Seriously. I am beginning to regret friending these two.
Like everyone who has a FB page, you have friends that you interact with on a regular basis, those you only send birthday wishes to and others that are just “there” because you would feel bad if you unfriended. Then there are others you accept their friendship and hope that they won’t notice when you do unfriend them (can we say STALKER?). The last group is those that are somewhere between the regular basis and birthday wishes.
B, he is my BIL, and he makes me laugh. Most of the time at inappropriate things. But he is family and after 26 years, I know who he is, how he thinks and understand that his humor isn’t always what everyone likes. He can be an angry man and he can piss people off. But he is family.
M, the girlfriend, is a nice person and I have always liked her and thought that she is the only person who could put up with B and his antics. Until he got on FB. It appears that she has a major jealousy problem. As in Whoa…you got issues girl! And I am the bitch? Uh-uh…don’t think so.
So, the middle?
I get a private message from B. Telling me all about the drama and ask if I have talked to M about his friends on FB. For one, I am a virtual steel trap and do not butt into other people’s business. Seriously, I don’t. And two, I REALLY DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK! So, no. So on and on about how he thinks she hacked his account and she knows every conversation that he has had privately with old friends. Blah-blah-blah fucking blah. Being the privacy queen that I am I tell him how to protect his account and tell him to change his password. I think it’s over. To his defense, this guy would never cheat on anyone. He has faults but as far as I know, he would NEVER do this.
So, he starts posting crazy shit. And I mean CRAZY SHIT! So damn crazy that JC calls me in tears (from laughter) and says you gotta see this….So, this stuff continues for a couple of weeks.
This week? I get another message from him. I groan.
“M is pissed at me because you never talk to her on here anymore. She is blaming me for telling you things.”
WTF!!! Total shock here. Just in case she is still
hacking stalking reading his messages I respond carefully.
“I am sorry she has this perception. But I never really talked much to her anyway except before holidays or to comment on pics of the kids.”
So now what do I do?
Do I send her a message?
“Oh hey M…how are things going? You stalk much? Need a self-esteem boost? Worried the sugar daddy will leave you and your bastard kids out in the cold? Afraid you will have to sell your Coach purses and True Religion jeans he bought you on eBay to feed your face?”
Oh yeah, I went there. If only in my sick and twisted mind.
Or do I let it go and let her think that I am the bitch that I am? Hmmm, there would be an upside to that.
Just remember…Family is family no matter how fucked up they might be. Girlfriends do tend to come and go…