Pocketful of Sunshine or If You Find My Head, Let me know


I am a pocket person.

I put things in my pockets. Jean pockets, jacket pockets, backpack pockets…any kind of pocket. Then I forget about it.

I get change and instead of putting it into my purse, I put it into my pocket. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because of the rush I get when I reach into my coat pocket in November and find a $20 bill from last spring. In my mind, I am thinking…half a pair of shoes! So when I find money at the bottom of the washer or dryer, you can assume it’s mine.

I also have a habit of misplacing other things. It’s the other things that drive me batty. A couple of years ago we went to Maui and I bought a nice little underwater camera so I could take pictures when we were snorkeling. It’s a cute little red Olympus with a Hawaiian themed wrist strap. Hey, you gotta be fashionable, right?

So anyway, I remember having it last fall when we were on a hiking trip but couldn’t for the life of me find it. I went through everything! Drawers, pockets, backpacks, you name it. So it’s been missing for a long time. I didn’t care much because I have my everyday, fancy camera that I use for nearly everything else. So after the first ripping apart of the house, I kinda let it slide.

The other day I was vacuuming and I had an epiphany. Yes, it was a true epiphany. I tend to not think when I am vacuuming and just let my mind wander. Mostly it’s because I hate cleaning and it’s better to be mindless when having to do that.

“Go look in your old camera case.”

I swear someone spoke to me in that instance. So I shut off the vacuum and went in search of my camera case…One I hadn’t used in over a year…FOUND IT. Yes, I do hear voices. Thankfully they are usually my own so they won’t come after me with the white coats and straight jackets.

Yup. You guessed it. It was in the camera case. I did a happy dance that I am so glad nobody else was around to witness. Be thankful I don’t VLOG! No really, this is one white girl who cannot dance. No rhythm whatsoever.

Pockets. They are my best friend and nemesis.

We have a new policy at work where we have to be hands free in the car. Which is a good policy to have even if your company doesn’t have one. Go visit my blogger friend The Bearded Iris and read about her near miss experience. Really..go read it. Make the pledge.

I know, I know…just get on with it. So….

I have tried so many wired headsets, wireless, bluetooth, you name it. I have tried them and have hated every single one. I have a cool pink Jawbone one that is so cute but it sucks ass! It falls out of my ear, noise reduction sucks…I hate it. So when I was forced to go out and buy a new one I did so reluctantly.

I asked questions, read all the reviews and hoped I would finally be happy with one. But that’s not what this is about…

I bought one…I had it for about a week. I went to the grocery store at the end of the day with it attached to my ear…since I am not one of those people who like to say “Hey, look at me! I am important, I have a bluetooth headset attached to my head to make it look like I am smarter, safer and douchier than you!”

I took it off.

Did I put it into my purse? No. Did I put it into my jeans pocket? No. It must have been dropped.

When I next needed it, I went to look for it…I looked in my purse, my jeans, my jacket. I called the grocery stores that I went to that night..NOTHING. I start to panic because even though work paid for half of it, it was still $90 that was gone…and I would have to pay for the next. That could buy me shoes for crying out loud! I went through all my jackets…The damn thing just freaking disappeared. Or maybe it jumped to its death from listening to me sing along with the radio one too many times. Whatever. It was GONE!

Fast forward…

After 3 weeks of not having it, I was all set to buy another one Saturday when my shopping trip was cut short by a call from MJ…he had faceplanted at the terrain park while snowboarding…concussion. (He’s okay, btw). It will have to wait until after I pick him up and make sure he’s okay and then beat him myself for not having his helmet on.

Sunday we were heading to the in-laws to visit…I grab a sweatshirt to wear since they keep their house colder than Antarctica in the winter. Zip it up and go to adjust the pockets. Any guesses on what I found? Apparently, besides my poor judgement of putting it in a pocket, my memory was so piss poor that I didn’t even remember what I was wearing the day it went missing.

Yeah. That. So, I can honestly say that my son’s concussion saved me $90. A bright spot in all that. Another uncoordinated happy dance.

Anyone else think that I just saved my family $200 between the camera and headset,  and that I should go out shoe shopping? I agree. Who wants to go?

~Sassy

p.s If you were wondering about the bluetooth that finally won me over…it is the Plantronics Voyager Pro HD. This is unsolicited and just my experience with it. It looks big but I can wear it all day without my ear getting sore.

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Who Am I?


People always characterize themselves by what they are and not who they are. Labels such as mom, wife, employee are all used to say who you are. But that isn’t really true. That is just what you do.

Call it a freaking mid-life crisis or whatever.

When did I stop being just me? Was it when I said “I do” 24 years ago? Was it when I gave birth to my first child 19 years ago? When I became a manager?

I stopped being me when I had other people who were depending on me to be whatever title they gave me.

Ask yourself…Who am I? It’s hard to answer without those damn labels.

I am someone. Someone who:

  • loves to read. Anything. I love my Kindle because I can read those “Naughty Nooner” books for free without anyone knowing about them. I love reading murder mysteries to see if I can solve it by the end. Usually pretty good. Is it because I wish I could be the murderer? Hmm..interesting insight.
  • loves to eat. Almost anything. Except peppers. And anchovies. I do like jalapenos. So there you have it. I contradict myself. Remember this. My kids do. And they remind me about it whenever they can.
  • cries at dumb movies. I don’t when the hell that happened! I never cried over anything. Now it’s like a freaking waterfall. And don’t you say the word perimenopausal. I will send you a virtual kick in the ass!
  • likes being fit but hates to exercise.  I need to come up with a way to exercise at my desk that doesn’t make me tired. I never did get the whole endorphin rush. The pain is too great. Maybe it’s like childbirth.
  • wishes she had more friends. Have I told you, I am a great friend! Oh shit. A label again.
  • wishes she lived on Maui. Seriously. Best place on the planet earth. At least until I get to French Polynesia. Hell will freeze over first, but I live in Minnesota so it already did.

Oh, and yes, despite this post being all insightful, I am still the sassy, blonde bitch.
I will be back.
Tomorrow.
Until then…tell me. Who are you?