Moving Day ~Finally


After a couple of false alarms, moving day is officially today.

All of the stars have aligned, documents have been signed, and it is a done deal. JC is moving today.

We have yet to see her apartment as she did this all on her own. Oh, we know where it is and approve of the place but we haven’t had to do anything other than work out a budget to make sure she saves enough for Fall tuition and can afford rent and food. The important stuff.

We went shopping last night. Our contribution is all the paper goods and cleaning supplies. It doesn’t seem like much but the other parents are doing the first week’s grocery shopping for them. She stole took a couple of bath towels, wash cloths and is taking the toothpaste from the bathroom she shares with her brother.

Into the cart went gallon size shampoo and conditioner.

“It says it has 125 washes in it. That will last me the entire summer!” Ulterior motives.

What I hear?

“I won’t have to buy my shampoo and conditioner.”

Razors? Into the cart. And not the cheap ones I buy either. They were the expensive 4 blade ones that I only dream about. I say nothing, but plan on stealing taking one when she’s not looking. Shhh….she will never notice.

So, after work tonight, her bed gets moved. I am waiting to hear her hauling the bins out to her car. I will have to shut my office door so I don’t hear it. If I don’t hear it, it’s not real.

But I know it is. I keep reminding myself that she will be back in August. Have I said that before? I know. I have.

Emotions are going crazy. I am happy, sad, proud, worried, scared.

Let’s be honest. I am terrified because DB is still around. We have talked and I have prayed that she sees him for what he is. I have faith. I have to.

I must be more accepting of this whole thing. There are good things to come out of this.

She will learn what it is like to be a partial adult. She will be budgeting more, paying for more things on her own and not having us there for everything. It will be good for her.

And it will be good for us. We can start to let go.

Oh and the best part? Nobody will be downstairs directly under our bedroom *eyebrows raised, giggling*.

If you know what I mean!

And you thought I was too sad to be sassy! NEVER!

P.S I will have a guest blog over at No Longer Quiet on Friday. It is my first and I am honored to be chosen. Head on over there today to take a look-see. He is great!

Advertisements

Little By Little


Today it starts. The big move. The girls meet with the landlady today and pick up their keys. It will be official.

JC has always been my organized one. Making lists of her homework assignments, vacation packing lists, store lists, you name it. She lists it. This may be related to her mild OCD but she won’t admit it. She started packing last week for the move. Since then, I have stayed out of her room.

It depresses me to see her stuff in bins. Socks neatly stacked, t-shirts folded just so. What’s going to happen when my husband takes her bed apart and I have to help haul it to the truck?

I don’t want to cry, but I will. I get teary eyed just thinking about it now.

So what will I do?

I will take her shopping.

I will buy them all the items that girls tend to think just appear at their houses. Toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies and air fresheners. All the stuff they will need to get the boy stink out of their apartment. They don’t realize how hard that stink will be to get out! Three boys have lived there for the last 9 months. Three COLLEGE boys. Boys smell.

I was starting to feel better about it all until she started talking about how she doesn’t know what she wants to do in the future. Now my mommy-sense is kicking in and I am nervous. She is starting to question her career path, aiming lower than her brain is capable of. And I don’t like it.

I tell her that she can do what she wants because it is her life. But I am dying a little inside.

I am dying a little because she says she is tired of school. After her first year. What I think she is saying is that she is tired of having to save to pay for school. She likes nice things and likes spending money. Paying for school is not fun, it has no immediate gratification. And this is what is changing her mind.

When she says she can always go back to school later, I cringe. Many people say that and it never happens. I said that. And I did go back to school. Then I quit. She doesn’t know that life has a way of getting in the way of the best laid plans. There are always expenses. House payments, car payments…CHILDREN. They all take money. And they all take time. Time that becomes less and less available the older you get.

But she won’t listen. She has someone whispering in her ear.

“Don’t listen to them. Do what makes you happy. They don’t know what’s best for you.”

No, we may not know all what is best for you. We are not perfect.

But in the end, we just want you to know that people in life come and go; we will always be your rock. Planted in the same place so you can always find us.

So spread your wings. Find your way. But if you get lost along the way, please remember.

Your nest will always be warm and waiting. Right where it always has been.

Let's BEE Friends

Spreading Her Wings


It is Spring. It is a time for renewal. The dirt of winter gets washed away by the rain to be replaced by the brightness of the green grass and the scent of the newly blossomed flowers. The deer are having their babies, the birds are building their nests. The seasons are changing.

It’s happening all around us. Even if we don’t want it to.

Change.

My JC is moving out next week. To her own place. With roommates.

My fledgling child is striking out on her own. If only for 3 months, she says she will be back in the Fall.

The seasons are changing and I am not sure about it. The roller coaster of emotions is toying with me.

I am happy.

I am happy that she is going to be trying her hand at being an adult, paying rent, grocery shopping, having to do her own laundry and have a budget. I am excited for her to not have to worry about waking us up when she comes home at 1 am, and that she doesn’t have to hear us harping on her to help with the dishes after dinner.

I am scared.

I am scared that she will fall and she won’t ask for help; and I won’t be there to see the signs, gently pick her up and make it all better. I am scared that she will subsist on ramen noodles and frozen pizzas. Even worse, skip meals. She is too thin already.

I am terrified.

Terrified that her douchebag boyfriend (I will call him: DB)will have more influence over her life decisions that should be her’s to make and no one else’s. Not even her parent’s. I am terrified that her birth control doesn’t work and she gets pregnant by DB, making him a part of our lives forever. Terrified that his lifestyle will become her lifestyle.

Most of all, I am hopeful.

Hopeful that she learns to fly solo. Hopeful that we have instilled the values to keep her on the right path. I have to believe that she will realize that she, alone, is in charge of her destiny. I am hopeful that she knows just how much her mom and dad love her, support her and that we will always be here for her. I hope she knows that she can reach out for help and that I will be right there to keep her steady. I will  be her gravitational pull if the carousel of life starts spinning too fast.

NO MATTER WHAT.

She is learning to fly.