Repeat After Me…I Love My Kids


Big snow day Wednesday…

Having a snow day means having to deal with the whining. Oh, they beg for snow days, get pissed when it doesn’t happen and then piss and moan when they get one and nobody can get out and do anything.

WAH-WAH-WAH!!

Then everyone gets bitchy and crabby. The kids, Rambo and then me. Makes me want to punch someone in the face. Thankfully,  I have really awesome skills willpower and that doesn’t happen. The punching, not the bitchiness. I can’t help that.

Since we have been experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime mild winter, (read: this winter has been fucking awesome and warm and no snow and I LOVE IT) the snowmobiles have been sitting around collecting bird shit and stuff.

Until yesterday. 10 inches of snow will cause that bug to bite and make MJ all giddy like a lil’ girl.

First comes the digging out…

“Mom! I need you to get your boots and a coat on and come help me! I can’t get the machine out.”

“Ok, I am getting them on as you are talking because I have just been DYING to get out in the 50 mph winds and blowing snow that it’s almost more than I can take. Let’s go!”

Ok, what I really said?

“Um, hello!!?!?!? Does it look like I’m ready to go outside and trudge through snow? I am trying to work here. You know that thing that keeps you in clothes with food on the table? Yeah. That. You go out and try again and THEN maybe I will be ready to help you….sheesh!”

5 minutes later, I hear the snowmobile racing past my office window. I win.

I just taught him independence and perseverance. Always good life lessons to learn.

And the digging out? It stopped there. He went riding all afternoon, coming home right before Rambo got home.

I knew this was going to end badly.Rambo pulls to the end of the driveway and sees that no snow had been moved from the sidewalks.

I went and hid under my desk and sucked my thumb when I heard MJ’s phone ring…OH SHIT!

I could hear the wrath coming through the phone from 2 rooms away. Call me a wimp but I stayed put. There was no way in hell I was going to get in the middle of that one.

So Rambo, being the epitome passive aggressive person that he is did not make MJ go out to help. He went out there and cleaned it all up himself and then came in at dinner time to bitch, moan and complain to me. Oh did I infer that it was in a normal voice? No, it was more like the daughter of my blogger friend over at Pretty All True…Majversational. (Thanks Kris!) Go read it and you will understand.

If there is one thing I have learned is that MJ will not do anything without being told to do it. It’s his flawed personality. I get it. My daughter gets it. Rambo? Sadly does not. Let me tell you, the sooner you realize it, the better and life is good.

And JC? She moped around the house all day. Nothing worse than a teenager girl moping.

The night before she gets a call from DoucheBag (her BF) wanting her to come see him. It’s 9:00 at night and she’s bitchy tired. But she leaves the room to take the call since she knows we wish he would just disappear.

“I have to go.” She tells us when she comes back.

Logical question for us is “Why? You do realize the roads are going to get bad with this snow”

“DoucheBag’s dog got hit by a car.” BTW…she doesn’t call him DoucheBag but that’s what we hear when she says his name.

Okay…let’s get this straight. I like dogs and I am very sorry that she is dead. But I didn’t see him rushing to her side when her great-grandpa died. Dog, grandpa?  EXCUSE ME? Does anyone else see a narcissistic thing here?

First off, the only reason a dog gets hit by a car is because of the owner. I can say this because I have been one of the unfortunate ones who has had a dog hit by a car. So don’t get all sanctimonious and start calling me nasty names. I get it. It is sad. But you only have one person to blame if it happens. Dogs are dumb when it comes to cars and traffic and you have to be the one to look after them. You have to be smarter than the dog.

So yesterday, she was all mopey and sad-eyed. All around a freaking happy fest last night. I just kept my mouth shut.

Today, I vow it’s going to be a happy day…

Wait. What? Seriously? Another snow day? The roads are all clear….NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And I woke up with a migraine aura…

Save me!

~Sassy

 

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